10 Trauma Myths That Make Healing Harder
Trauma is a deeply complex and often misunderstood aspect of our human experience. It can stem from various sources—ranging from a single overwhelming event to sustained periods of adversity. Traumatic experiences are profoundly distressing, and they can have deep and lasting effects on our mental, emotional, and physical well-being. Unresolved trauma also influences how we perceive and interact with others and the world around us.
Despite the important conversations we are having about trauma and its impacts, many myths about trauma persist. These misconceptions and misinformation make the process of healing more difficult. Let's dive deeper into these myths.
Myth #1: “I don’t have trauma.”
Trauma has many forms, and everyone has experienced it. Trauma is a universal thread woven into the fabric of our existence. While the intensity and type of traumatic experiences vary widely, their presence is felt by every human being. It is vital to understand the number of common events that fit the definition of trauma. These include accidents, falls, medical procedures, losses, discrimination, socioeconomic hardships, and parental abandonment, in addition to those events we already understand as traumatic, such as abuse or assaults.
The effects of trauma ripple through relationships, influencing how we perceive ourselves and others. We see the impact of trauma in how people perceive themselves and others. It can be seen in symptoms of anxiety, depression, addiction disorders, and chronic stress. By acknowledging the universality of trauma, it helps create opportunities for people to feel safe sharing their stories and seeking healing.
Myth #2: Talking about their trauma will help someone get over it.
It's not that talking about trauma is wrong. Open conversations about traumatic experiences can be a crucial aspect of the healing journey. But it's vital to understand that simply recounting these events or retelling your trauma story may not always be beneficial. Sharing your trauma story without the proper support can sometimes retrigger intense emotions. Our brain and body may respond in a way similar to experiencing the traumatic event all over again. It just isn't always helpful to share overwhelming experiences without being offered tools and support that help you heal.
It's crucial to have the guidance necessary to process these feelings safely. Someone must be able to share their story in a way that feels safe for them. It is also important that someone feels ready to do so. Otherwise, the retelling can overwhelm someone, or they have to numb themselves so they can actually talk about it. Although sharing trauma stories can be a vital part of recovery, it's essential to approach it with appropriate support. Effective healing requires safety and support as someone shares the painful traumas they have experienced.
Myth #3: Not talking about their trauma will help someone get over it.
On the other hand, avoiding discussion of traumatic experiences does not erase their impact. Forgetting and moving on doesn’t really work. Whether we talk about traumatic experiences or not, our brains and bodies still remember them. Not addressing trauma doesn't prevent us from being negatively affected by those experiences. Avoiding the exploration of trauma may offer temporary relief from discomfort, but that ultimately serves to delay the healing that comes when we address it.
By consciously avoiding addressing these past experiences, we unwittingly invite them to shape our lives in the present. The consequences of avoiding past trauma affect many vital aspects of our lives, including our mental, emotional, relational, and physical well-being. We heal when we have the appropriate guidance and support when sharing our experiences of past trauma. Healing begins when we can confront our trauma with the necessary help needed to navigate to heal.
Myth #4: Time heals most of the impacts of trauma.
We often view time as a universal healer—it can soothe wounds and ease pain as it passes. However, when it comes to trauma, the notion that time alone can mend deep wounds is misleading. Trauma's impacts on our nervous system often require intentional healing efforts. This is especially true when the trauma occurs early in life, and someone doesn't get the support and resources they need to heal.
The misconception that time heals all wounds overlooks the intricate nature of trauma recovery. The impacts of trauma require intentional interventions to facilitate healing. For example, trauma alters brain function and can lead to changes in emotional regulation and the processing of memories. These impacts are not simply resolved with the passage of time. Effective trauma recovery often involves therapy that helps someone safely process their experiences, develop coping strategies, and heal their nervous system.
Myth #5: A person will suffer from trauma for the rest of their life.
While it's true that experiencing trauma can be a profoundly painful and life-altering event, the idea that trauma will always haunt a person forever is a misconception. The debilitating symptoms of trauma are often a sign that someone hasn't been able to engage in a healing journey. Humans are remarkably resilient. Just like our physical body can heal and recover, our nervous system can heal with access to support and healing resources. We can move past the disruptive symptoms of trauma into greater resilience and nervous system regulation.
With support, individuals can adapt and grow from their traumatic experiences. One remarkable benefit of healing is what is referred to as "post-traumatic growth." People can emerge stronger and more resilient from adversity than before trauma. Some key aspects of post-traumatic growth include experiencing a deeper appreciation for life, the discovery of inner strengths, and a deeper connection with others.
Myth #6: Trauma is all in your head.
Trauma is often misunderstood as something that just lives in the mind. We limit trauma to the story of what happened and our memories of those traumatic events. But trauma impacts far more than just our thoughts and memories – it impacts our entire nervous system.
Peter Levine is one of the leading experts in trauma. He says that trauma is "about the nervous system's response to an event, not necessarily the event itself." He is referring to how our bodies store the impacts of trauma and how the nervous system retains the memory of traumatic experiences in ways that influence our physical sensations, emotions, and reactions. Unhealed trauma also alters our behaviours and coping mechanisms. People who remain impacted by unhealed trauma often use substances or behaviours to mood-alter and manage distress caused by overwhelming life events. The best ways to heal from trauma include holistic approaches that acknowledge this mind-body connection.
Myth #7: It can’t be traumatic if someone doesn’t remember what happened.
When we understand how trauma impacts our nervous system, we can begin to understand that those impacts remain even if we don’t remember what happened. Some people were too young to remember traumatic events that occurred when they were infants or young children. Not all memories are accessed consciously. Our brain might not remember something that happened but our bodies do.
Whether we consciously recall a traumatic experience or not, these events leave an imprint on our nervous system, influencing emotional regulation, reactions, behaviours, and reactions to stressors. One example of this is reactions to certain triggers. Our subconscious mind can retain and react to stored trauma, which influences our thoughts, behaviours, and emotional well-being long after the events have passed.
Helpful supports for trauma recovery focus less on understanding “what” happened and more on holistic approaches that help address the impacts of painful life events, regardless of what is remembered or not.
Myth #8: You can’t start healing from trauma unless you are ready to talk about what happened.
There are many ways to begin healing from trauma without needing to talk about what happened. While "talk therapy" is a common therapeutic approach, it isn't always the most helpful form of trauma recovery. The pathways for understanding and healing include learning about trauma, developing coping mechanisms, and building a supportive network. Therapeutic approaches like art therapy or body-centred therapy don't focus on the story of what happened.
Healing is also about honouring the need to feel safe enough to share. Healing from trauma is a deeply personal journey that doesn't always begin with words. Often, the most profound healing occurs when we can learn to honour our own pace and methods of processing experiences. Feeling safe enough to share the story of past trauma may take time, but there are many ways to support the journey to get there.
Myth #9: The process of healing trauma is scary and overwhelming.
Although past traumatic experiences were scary and overwhelming, the process of healing does not need to be. Therapy and healing trauma is not about reliving the trauma – that would be frightening. The healing journey involves making sense of the experience in a safe environment. It's about understanding the impacts of trauma and finding tools that bring healing in safe ways.
Engaging in activities that promote relaxation, such as mindfulness or gentle exercise, can help regulate emotions and reduce stress. Seeking support from trusted friends, family members, or therapists who specialize in trauma can provide a safe space to express feelings and work through difficult memories. Journaling or creative pursuits like art or music can also be therapeutic ways to process emotions without pressure. Taking small, consistent steps towards healing at a pace that feels comfortable is vital to fostering a sense of safety and empowerment in the journey of trauma recovery.
Myth #10: Someone needs to deal with their addiction issues before they’re ready to address their trauma.
The research is clear about the fact that unresolved trauma contributes to substance use and addiction disorders. But too often, people believe someone needs to be stable in their addiction recovery before they can work on past trauma. This belief makes the struggle for recovery more difficult for several reasons. Too often, trauma symptoms are seen as an unwillingness to get help. Addiction treatment programs are less helpful when unresolved trauma is addressed. Relapse also occurs more for people in addiction recovery who have not been able to access tools and resources to heal their trauma.
Addiction is absolutely vital to address. However, some people will find it hard to give up the substances or behaviours that help them cope with trauma symptoms or mental health issues. This is especially true when they haven't been taught tools and resources to help them manage trauma triggers or the ways their nervous system is dysregulated. Both issues – trauma and addiction – need to be worked on together and at the same time. This work must also be done safely and from a perspective grounded in understanding the nervous system.
Conclusion
Confronting myths about trauma is essential because these misconceptions can keep people from seeking the help they need to recover. Dispelling these myths allows for greater awareness and empathy. It encourages a more supportive environment for anyone impacted by trauma. Hopefully, it will create more space for safe dialogue and exploration about how we can heal from trauma.